Insistent Read online

  Copyright © 2018 Kaylee Ryan

  All Rights Reserved.

  This book may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Kaylee Ryan, except for the use of brief quotations in articles and or reviews.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, events, locations, businesses and plot are products of the author’s imagination and meant to be used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events throughout the story are purely coincidental. The author acknowledges trademark owners and trademarked status of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, sponsored or associated by or with the trademark owners.

  The following story contains sexual situations and strong language. It is intended for adult readers.

  Cover Design: Perfect Pear Creative Covers

  Cover Photography: Scott Hoover

  Cover Model: Travis DesLaurier

  Editing: Hot Tree Editing

  Formatting: Integrity Formatting

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

  Contact Kaylee Ryan

  Also by Kaylee Ryan

  Acknowledgements

  Sitting around the table at Soul Records with my bandmates turned business partners, I have to fight to keep my eyes off her.

  Cassidy.

  I’ve watched her from afar for years—waiting, biding my time—but there never seems to be a right time. She clams up anytime I even hint at taking her out. I’ve gotten creative when I’m around her, finding ways to touch her that won’t get my ass thrown in jail for sexual harassment.

  Nothing too crazy, but a brush against her here, or a hand on her shoulder there. I’ve learned to stand back and wait so I can guide her into the room with my hand on the small of her back. She has this crazy, wild, blonde, curly hair, and I find myself tucking it behind her ears more often than not. She’s become my addiction, one that wants nothing to do with me.

  She’s attracted to me. I can see it in her sapphire eyes, can hear it in the way her breath hitches when I’m close to her. She feels it, but she’s fighting it. She claims we have to maintain a professional relationship, and I get it. I do. At first, she worked for the band on behalf of the label, formerly known as Stone Records. Once all the shit went down and we bought it out, changing the name to Soul Records, she pushed me away. Technically, owning the label, I was not just her boss because she was assigned to me, but it was my company who paid her salary.

  So I’ve been on the sidelines, waiting, watching, wanting her more as each day passes. I’ve contemplated talking to the guys, seeing what they think, but they’ve all got so much going on with their wives and kids, they don’t need my single guy drama. This is one I’m just going to have to figure out on my own.

  “Gav,” Kacen says, pulling my attention back to the meeting. “Did you hear a word I said?”

  “Nope.” No sense in lying.

  He sighs. “There’s a band we need to check out. They’re big time in their hometown and the surrounding counties. Selling out shows weeks in advance.”

  “Where are they?” I ask.

  “Missouri. St. Louis, specifically,” he tells me.

  “When?”

  “This weekend,” Cole answers.

  “I’ll go,” I say. I know the guys hate leaving their families for these kinds of things.

  “Thanks, Gav. I think we need two opinions on this one, just to make sure they’re a fit for us,” Tristan chimes in.

  “Good idea,” Cole agrees. “Not that we don’t trust you, G, but you know, two approvals are better than one.”

  I look at them quizzically. I have no fucking idea what they’re yammering on about. I’ve done this more times than I can count on my own, since they all settled down and we bought the label. Suddenly they don’t trust my judgment? What the fuck?

  “You know, that might show them we’re serious, too. I know there are a few other labels who are shopping them as well,” Kacen says, agreeing with this madness.

  “Guys—” I hold up my hands, but Cole interrupts me.

  “I can’t go, not this weekend. T?” he asks Tristan.

  “Can’t. Little man has a doctor’s appointment on Friday. No way am I missing that.”

  “Kacen?” he asks.

  “Jace, Logan’s brother, is playing a game against Tennessee this weekend. We’re going to the game,” he says.

  “Cassidy,” Cole says. Suddenly, my mind clears and my eyes widen as I focus on what he has to say. “Can you clear your schedule?” he asks.

  “Me?” she asks, surprised.

  All my efforts to ignore her are shot down with the sound of her sweet voice. Just a hint of southern, but I could recognize the sweet sound anywhere. My eyes are now focused on her, and ideas are running through my head. It will just be the two of us all weekend. This might finally be my chance to convince her we can do this. That the chemistry raging between us could be so much more.

  “Yeah,” Kacen jumps in. “You’ve been with us from the beginning. Not just the label, but as a band.”

  “We know you have good taste.” Tristan points to his chest, causing her to laugh.

  Her eyes flash to mine. “You sure?” she asks, giving her attention back to my boys.

  “Positive,” all three of them say at once.

  “Gav?” she asks.

  I fight like hell to not let my elation show through. “Sure, it’s always good to get another opinion.” I’m doing an internal fist bump, impressed I didn’t lose my shit when they first suggested that I needed someone to go with me. Cole clears his throat, gaining my attention. He grins and winks, and that’s when I know that I’ve done a shit job of hiding the fact that I want her.

  I glance at Kacen and Tristan, and they, too, are grinning like fools. I should be pissed off that they’re meddling, but I’m not. I need this time away with her, just the two of us.

  “Maybe you all should go down a day or two early, scope out some other bands. The music festival is for four days. Should be a good time to check out a variety but only have to make one trip,” Kacen tells us.

  He’s the level-headed business mind, and even though what he says makes sense, I know we’re not really in the market for more than one more band. We like to work one-on-one, give them our attention and expertise, so I know he’s blowing smoke up our asses.

  For me.

  My bandmates, they’re like my brothers. No matter what gets thrown our way, we have each other’s backs. This is just another example of that. Even though I tried to hide it, I couldn’t keep the fact that I want her all to myself. They know me better than anyone.

  Thinking back, I realize I did a shit job. I was the one who volunteered to get i
nvolved more when it was still Stone Records and we were just a band signed under them. I used the excuse of wanting to learn more about the business when, in reality, I just wanted to be closer to her. Over time, I did learn quite a bit, and that knowledge came in handy when all the shit went down with Wilson, and we ended up buying the label. Soul Records was born and my desire for Cassidy Hillman grew tenfold.

  “Solid plan,” Tristan agrees.

  “I’ll have Logan take care of the travel arrangements and let you know,” Kacen says, standing.

  “I can do that,” Cassidy rushes to volunteer.

  “Nah, she’s been complaining we don’t use her enough. She’ll be glad to do it. I’ll be in touch,” Kace says, strolling out of the room.

  “Thanks for taking one for the team, Gav.” Tristan smirks before standing and leaving as well.

  “Looking forward to your report.” Cole gives me a big-ass grin, and I know that their well wishes are not in hopes of finding a new band for our label, but for me to finally get the girl.

  Traveling for my job is not uncommon. It’s like second nature to me, but this trip, the one I’m currently trying to pack for is different. It’s just going to be me and Gavin, and, well… that’s nothing but a recipe for disaster. Truth be told, it’s taken every ounce of self-control that I can muster to fend off his advances.

  The truth is he’s so damn gorgeous, all six feet two of him to be exact. Every time I glance at his fine muscular build, I have to fight not to drool. He’s perfectly toned, just enough that his T-shirts cling to the defined muscles in his arms and chest. And his hair… hell, his dishwater blond hair is short on the sides and long on the top, making me want to run my hands through it. The image always makes me want to swoon. That teamed with his beard—not a “mountain man” one, but just enough to be sexy as hell, at least on him. But then really, it’s his eyes, his mesmerizing blue eyes that really get to me. When locked on me, I feel as though they can see clear to my soul.

  I’m in so much trouble.

  So the dilemma is packing. What to wear on a four-day excursion with the man you want and who wants you, but whose advances you keep dismissing? I’m torn. I want to look sexy for him, but at the same time, I know I shouldn’t do anything to add fuel to the fire. I can’t. Mustn’t. I’ve worked too damn hard to get where I am. I love my job. I get along well with all the guys, their wives, and kids. Since Soul Records was established, I couldn’t be happier. I was in the market looking for a new job, not because of the industry but because of my skeevy boss. Then one day, Kacen announced they were buying the label, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  I grew up with nothing. When I say nothing, I mean, nothing. My mom and I lived in a low-income, run-down apartment. She worked two jobs, and I spent most of my time holed up in our apartment alone heating up macaroni and cheese in the microwave. My dad skipped out on us when I was two, leaving Mom to raise me all on her own. We struggled for years. I busted my ass in school to get a full-ride scholarship, and when I landed my job at Stone Records, it was as if we won the lottery. Mom’s health was failing, Alzheimer’s, and she needed around-the-clock care. My job allows for that. I can provide for her, placing her in one of the best assisted-living establishments in Nashville and still take care of myself without eating Ramen every meal.

  That’s why I can’t let anything happen with Gavin. I want him, and I won’t lie and not admit the attraction I feel for him is nothing I’ve ever felt before, because the chemistry is off the charts. To make matters worse, he’s not an asshole rock star. Rather, he’s a genuinely nice guy.

  I was making good money before, but when the guys bought out the label, they kept me on, gave me more responsibilities and a hefty pay increase to go with it. It’s more than the average market for equal positions like mine. I know that and so do they, but I bust my ass to earn it, even though they make it easy. I can’t afford to lose my job or have the awkwardness that comes with it from a hookup. So I’ve kept my distance.

  This trip is going to test my resolve. When I say I want him, that the attraction is there, I mean it burns as brightly as the sun. What I wouldn’t give for just one night to forget about all my responsibilities, to let my worries fade into the darkness and see where the night would lead us. That’s a dream, well, more like a fantasy that will remain so. Nothing good ever comes from a work relationship, especially with one of your bosses.

  Nothing good.

  So here I am, back to my original dilemma. How do I pack for this trip? Sitting on the edge of the bed beside my suitcase, I release a heavy breath. I have to get this done so I can visit Mom before we leave in the morning. My heart constricts knowing that more than likely she won’t even realize I’m there. This disease is hell. Regardless of if she knows me or not, I still visit her religiously. I believe that deep down she knows. There have been a few days here and there when she recognizes me and even fewer when she’s lucid and we can actually carry on a conversation. I live for those days.

  My phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts. Glancing at the screen, I see Logan’s name. “Hey,” I greet her. Logan, Stacy, and Lauren have become great friends of mine over the years. Really, my only friends. I don’t have much time for anything but work and going to see Mom. I refuse to let her be one of those people in a home who never get visitors.

  “I hear you’re going on a trip?” I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “Yeah. Gavin has to go check out a band and none of the guys could go, so they elected me.”

  “You poor thing. You have to spend four days with Gavin.”

  “He’s not so bad,” I say before thinking.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. I was actually being sarcastic.” She laughs. “Look. For months, hell, the last few years I’ve watched the two of you dance around each other. You might think you’re doing a good job of hiding it, but I see it.”

  Well, damn. “What you see is me brushing him off.”

  “Why would you do that? He’s a great guy.”

  How do I explain this to her? “He’s my boss.”

  “Try again, Cassidy. Kace was my boss, too. Look how we ended up.”

  “That’s different. You two had this… connection. You were destined to end up married and with babies. Speaking of, how is baby Drew?” I ask, trying to steer the subject from me and Gavin.

  “Drew is perfect, but stop trying to change the subject. Listen, Cassidy. You’re my friend, and Gavin, he’s family. I’ve watched him and there’s been no one. Not one woman in his life since the day he set his sights on you. I don’t know if you see that, but I wanted you to know.”

  “Thank you, but I just have too much at stake.”

  “I know you’re taking care of your mom, and believe me when I tell you that regardless of how a relationship does or does not turn out with the two of you, you would never lose your job over it.” Butterflies swirl in my stomach at her words, but I can’t believe them. It’s too risky. “So it’s really up to you to decide. Take this trip to see how you two can be together. The worse thing that can happen is that you go back to ignoring him when you get back.”

  “You’re supposed to be talking me out of this.” I shake my head and laugh.

  “Nope. I’m cheering for the two of you. As a matter of fact, we all are.”

  What? My stomach drops. “Clarify all?” I ask hesitantly.

  “All of us. Kace and the guys, all of us wives, hell, I’m sure the kids can even feel the tension rolling off the two of you.” Humor laces every syllable.

  I groan. “Logan, this is wrong, so very wrong. I can’t risk it.”

  “It’s not a risk. Your job is secure. I talked to Kace, Cole, and Tristan last night. They know I’m calling you.” My breath hollows out at her words. “We all want to see Gavin happy. We all want to see you happy. This is to let you know that you have our blessing to go for it. See what happens. Hell, maybe after a few days you two will have worked this out of your systems. Actually, I t
ake that back. You’ve changed him.”

  My breath stutters. I’m legit struggling to comprehend that not only is everyone talking about the two of us, but that they’re actively cheering as well. “Changed him?” I ask, surprised.

  “Yeah, you. I assume you’re the one he’s always texting?”

  My mind wanders to all of our messages over the years. That’s how I really came to know him. It started out as business and then led to good morning and good night texts. That led to how is your day? and it just progressed from there. Over that time, Gavin became more than just my boss and the man I Iong for but continue to refuse. He’s my friend. One I’m scared as hell to lose over a romp in the sheets.

  “We text,” I admit.

  She laughs. “Cassidy, that man is gone for you. I wish you could see what we see. Take a leap of faith.”

  Looking over at my still empty suitcase, I think about what she’s saying. Can I do this? Can I risk it all? “I don’t know what to pack,” I confess. “I’m so torn, Logan. I want to look good for him because of the way he makes me feel when he looks at me, but at the same time, I need to not add any fuel to the fire. Gah! I can’t believe I just confessed that.”

  Again, she laughs. “Cassidy, be you. Dress how you’re the most comfortable. If I know Gav, he’s going to try and take you out since it’s just the two of you. Prepare for all scenarios, so no matter what happens, no matter how things turn out, you’ll feel prepared.”

  “Sage advice,” I agree.

  “Have a good time. Let whatever happens, happen. If you need me, just call. Stacy and Lauren told me to pass on the same. We’re all here for you. We know what it’s like to fall in love with a member of Soul Serenade.”

  “Hey, no one said anything about love,” I remind her, my eyes wide.

  “You didn’t have to. Bye,” she says and ends the call before I can reply.

  Love? Am I that transparent? All this time I thought that I was doing well at hiding my feelings for him. Each and every day it gets harder and harder to say no when he asks me out. With each subtle touch, my body craves him more and more. Gah! I need to get busy. Tossing my phone on the bed, I get busy packing. I do what Logan suggested and cover every scenario. I have lounge clothes, jeans, and T-shirts, dressier items for business meetings, and even a little black dress, just in case. I toss in a couple of sets of matching bras and panties, along with a swimsuit, and call it good. I’ve stressed over it long enough. I zip up my bag and set it in front of my closet. Grabbing my phone, I check the time. I need to get moving.